dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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