just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
