it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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