dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
