the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
