Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
MIDGETS
????
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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