life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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