so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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