I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
