Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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