so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
