do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
