Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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