the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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