what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
