So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
