Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The air taste purple.
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