Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
