I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She bit a glass in half.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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