You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize