Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.

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(585): View more from New York

I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus

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(406): View more from Montana

Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.

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(330): View more from Ohio

AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???

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