Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
