Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
