We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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