I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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