opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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