he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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