i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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