I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
