So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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