oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
