she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
