Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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