Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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