Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
