It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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