So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The air taste purple.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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