You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
