i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
