just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
