He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
