the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
