Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
