if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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