I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
