Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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