The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We are two peas in an std pod
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
