Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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