I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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