he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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