I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize