Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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