I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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