I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
