Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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