we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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