I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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