i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
