and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
vagina is talking i cant
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
