I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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