I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
