Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
